Category Archives: Satire

The Return of Keith Olbermann

The following was originally posted at The Right Wing Blog:

From NoisyRoom.net

Monday night, the wait was finally over. Countdown with Keith Olbermann premiered on its new home, Current TV, the channel co-founded by Al Gore. Keith Olbermann sycophants no longer need to lean forward and take whatever MSNBC’s corporate media fascist bosses want to put on the air.

Yes, those horrible corporate media thugs, putting dolts like Joe Scarborough, Dylan Ratigan, and Ed Schultz on television.  What an outrage! Particularly since they unceremoniously canned Keith Olbermann, the modern day Edward R. Murrow.

Why, his Special Comments were pure journalistic genius!  He had the intellect to put aside facts and rely on his thesaurus and Google (to find literary quotes, or course).  That is an achievement that Brian Williams wishes he could pull off, but that blue collar simpleton, who didn’t even graduate college, will never reach the level of achievement of Mr. Olbermann.  Keith, of course, graduated from Cornell.  You know, the trailer park of the Ivy League.

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Filed under Politics, Satire, The Media

Yes, I’m Really Running For President (Not Really)

In order to bring a fresh perspective to the 2012 Presidential contest, I will be covering it as though I were a candidate.  I have officially formed an advisory panel which will look into creating a campaign working group which will recommend if I should form an exploratory committee which will ultimately decide if I should join the race for the GOP nomination.  No, I won’t really be running.  But by pretending to, I will be able to offer criticisms of the candidates in an original way and offer up potential solutions to the many problems facing our nation.  The blogosphere is filled with lots of boring political commentary.  I’m going to make sure that the 2012 election isn’t boring.

My “campaign” website is here: http://kaibforpresident.wordpress.com/

And here’s the awesome KaibCast from Wednesday night (featuring new open and close music): http://www.blogtalkradio.com/joshkaib/2011/03/02/wednesdays-kaibcast-3211

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Filed under 2012, Administrative Bulletin, Politics, Satire

Truth Machine Analysis: Is Charlie Sheen Porn Family Good For Family Values?

Here at the ATM, I try to cut through the media B.S. and spin to get to the truth.  And now that I’m covering celeb news in order to increase my blog traffic, I’ve decided to analyze celeb stories with as much intellectual muscle as I analyze political and economic stories.  First up, Charlie Sheen’s proposed porn family!

So, is it a good idea for Charlie Sheen to buy a house just down the street from his place and hire porn stars to live there?  The answer is obviously no.  This is not a cost-effective means for Mr. Sheen to get adult entertainment.  It would be much more economical to build a porn star guest house on his existing property, as this would save him money on additional utility bills, cable TV (so they can watch reruns of Two and a Half Men on FX), and property taxes.  So, please, Charlie, just build a guest house instead of buying a completely new property for your porn pals.

But what about the porn family’s impact on family values?  Many political and cultural leaders decry the degradation of the family as a basic unit.  Single parent homes, divorce, deadbeat dads, and Eddie Cibrian have all contributed to the destruction of society, in their view.  Charlie Sheen, always the forward-thinker, has figured out a way to turn a destructive force, pornography, into a positive force for families.  By bringing porn starts together, Charlie Sheen is showing that family is just as important as to him as cocaine, booze, and breasts.  And that, my friends, is a positive step for mankind.

 

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Filed under Entertainment, Satire, The Culture

A Coming Change, or, A New Hope

This is a short story that I wrote for a class.  I like it, but you might not.  You should read it anyway.  I don’t want to give you any background about the piece because I want to see if you understand or “get” this piece.  I don’t know, maybe it sucks.

It’s nearly winter, and as the tall, graying man walks up the steps to his living quarters, he’s winded.  The stress these past few years has been unbearable.  Not only is he responsible for sending employees into difficult situations oversees, but he’s got a budget in the red, revenues that are shrinking, health care costs that are rising, and bosses who aren’t very happy with his performance.  The recession has not been kind to him.  As he reaches the final step, the man is greeted by his wife, none too pleased that he’s late for dinner.

“Pumski, what took you so long in the office?”

“Just had some issues to deal with.  Working with the communications department on our PR campaign.  So what’s for dinner?”

“I had the cook make your favorite.  Shrimp and grits.  No one else in this house eats it, so they also made us some burgers and fries.  Anyway, the girls are watching Hannah Montana.  Can you get them to the table for me?  I’m exhausted after a long day of working on my initiatives to get people to eat healthier foods.”

“Alright, then.  I’ll get the girls.”

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Filed under Controversial, Fiction, Politics, Satire