Viva La Revolucion!

Another day, another revolution.  Now a pro-democracy “Jasmine” Revolution is happening in China, but the totalitarian government is quashing it with force. The Daily Mail reports that “China’s authoritarian government has appeared unnerved by recent protests in Egypt, Tunisia, Bahrain, Yemen, Algeria and Libya.”

Apparently the revolutionaries take the name of their revolution from the main female charcter in the popular Disney movie “Aladdin,” which was very popular in China because the Chinese are fans of Robin Williams’ voice acting.

In Libya, “forces fired machine-guns at thousands of mourners marching in a funeral for anti-government protesters in the eastern city of Benghazi Sunday, a day after commandos and foreign mercenaries loyal to longtime leader Moammar Gadhafi attacked demonstrators with assault rifles and other heavy weapons.”

In Bahrain, the season-opening Formula One race might have to be canceled.

Off the coast of Somalia, “an American couple that has sailed the world with a yacht full of Bibles was hijacked by Somali pirates.” The U.S. is trying to decide how to respond. If I was Commander-in-Chief, I’d deploy as many aircraft carriers as I could and bomb the hell out of Somalia and kill all the Neanderthal Somali pirates.  Unless a pirate is dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow, he deserves to die. These Somalis have no sense of pirate fashion.

That Somalia thing had nothing to do with Mid-East revolutions, but I’m tired of savages hijacking American ships.  Make sure you listen to tonight’s KaibCast, which is not about Somali Neanderthals but about American Neanderthals like MSNBC’s Ed Schultz. And yes, I may have been exaggerating about killing all Somali pirates.  We might need them on our side to stop Iran from going through the Suez canal.

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