Truth Machine Analysis: Is Charlie Sheen Porn Family Good For Family Values?

Here at the ATM, I try to cut through the media B.S. and spin to get to the truth.  And now that I’m covering celeb news in order to increase my blog traffic, I’ve decided to analyze celeb stories with as much intellectual muscle as I analyze political and economic stories.  First up, Charlie Sheen’s proposed porn family!

So, is it a good idea for Charlie Sheen to buy a house just down the street from his place and hire porn stars to live there?  The answer is obviously no.  This is not a cost-effective means for Mr. Sheen to get adult entertainment.  It would be much more economical to build a porn star guest house on his existing property, as this would save him money on additional utility bills, cable TV (so they can watch reruns of Two and a Half Men on FX), and property taxes.  So, please, Charlie, just build a guest house instead of buying a completely new property for your porn pals.

But what about the porn family’s impact on family values?  Many political and cultural leaders decry the degradation of the family as a basic unit.  Single parent homes, divorce, deadbeat dads, and Eddie Cibrian have all contributed to the destruction of society, in their view.  Charlie Sheen, always the forward-thinker, has figured out a way to turn a destructive force, pornography, into a positive force for families.  By bringing porn starts together, Charlie Sheen is showing that family is just as important as to him as cocaine, booze, and breasts.  And that, my friends, is a positive step for mankind.

 

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